This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
