You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
