You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
