imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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