how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize