I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
from now on my penis is your penis
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize