if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
they need to just BURY HIM!
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Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
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We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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