you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
