Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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