I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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