oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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