Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
