ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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