I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
