i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
