Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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