Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
