her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
