I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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