I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
