she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
How naked do you want me to be?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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