Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
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