just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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