oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
