Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Randomize
