You're so nebulous sometimes
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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