who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Randomize