she looked like the bat from fern gully.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
We have started to decorate penises.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
