I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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