I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Randomize
