Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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