We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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