Your tits are I can't wait for
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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