It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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