sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
