I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
