I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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