she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Watching her eat just hurts me
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.