Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
