Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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