proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
my sisters under your porch take her home
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
