the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
