So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
