when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize