You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
