"it" just moved
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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