And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
