Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Randomize