I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
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