I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
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