how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
