So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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