How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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