The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
