This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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